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1. Desultory Moving from the comely quarter handing myself to the slaughter you’re the princess I can’t reach I’m just a crease in someone’s T-shirt though this play has barely started I’m half-hearted you’re half-hearted plots unravel thick and fast with gripping tales and starstruck casts I tried to learn the ways of people failed the start I won’t succeed pull out my eyes and turn them round so I can see this stupid frown now let’s go view the Mona Lisa she’s a bitch and I’m a teacher teaching people not to love and not to trust the gods above they’ll only kick you twice as hard when you think you’ve become a part of anyone who ever breathed you useless moron it’s time you leave the only thing I ever wanted’s not to get to you the only help I ask is that you give me a clue look at me as jingoistic part resisted part ballistic to take a blade and slash my wrist’s in no way twisted just simplistic drunk myself to somewhere else I moved my lips and shot myself you’re too bogged down with the semantics I got frantic fuck romantic put my tail between my legs then fled the scene and joined the dregs of every thoughtless thing I’ve done and said and drawn and lost and won and so we don’t see eye to eye it’s just a phrase I’m just a guy the only thing I ever wanted’s not to get to you the only time I tried to learn I let it slip through the only way that I’ll connect is out of the blue the only time I tried I lost you I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it I was there you fell I saw it…
2. Lover’s Digest Heart to heart with such a sullied mind I don’t waste your time so don’t waste mine aim to be the more considerate kind you always talk through a mouthful of dirt I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m backing all the vows to never kiss and tell shattered from the go from the onset stuck in the corners of a prison cell well keep it up keep it up man an endless battle with a might-as-well a sentimental ruin and chaste as fuck tough luck you have tripped and fell for a selfless act to taste I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m backing off poor weed how you’re sickened so pulverised valium thrust up the nose a new technique which you’ve been exposed to just as we supposed I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m back with a fresh new trend I’m irresistible to them with one warped vision comes a clueless man a clueless man who stands to track her down ooh-ooh I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m just your lover please don’t hold me back I’m just your lover clutched this in a brave blue twist got a baker’s dozen a-blooming in a month you missed how you tower over everyone too busy to see us aghast large doses work from the inside out I doubt you bothered to stick about to see how the wily widow takes a hold of you deft discreet and fast well I’m just your lover ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh…
3. Dating in Old People’s Homes Well we both lost our partners long ago one got old the other got old we’re gonna have to grow soon enough there’ll be toast and tea on the patio we can take the table on the southern side no one will have to know five o’clock and I’m shattered and I’m aching from my head to toe promise me you’ll wake up when the twilight falls I’ve got pictures of the kids to show to show evening darling did you sleep well as I promised now if I recall oh drat and sigh it’s only gone and slipped my mind I guess that comes with mottling legs and obsolescent paws now we’re sat together like children at the back of the bingo hall two fat ladies stop work clickety click doctor’s orders you and me and me and you you you you Dorothy I long for your smell Dorothy I long for your smell well we both lost our partners long ago still if you can fight back then I can fight back with this brutal hallowed hallo another fine noon for a television tune to provoke a pose that is to trip the light fantastic though we’re frail and inelastic we will clutch to each other’s hold if this heavenly aberration’s thanks to the manifold medications well then I am sold they may double all my doses hell beleaguer my sclerosis I will do as I am told as I am told well we both lost our partners long ago one got old the other got old we did our best to grow took a stroll early morning along the stream of marsh marigolds we dared to put our shaky hands together someone saw and the word got spread around now we’re frowned upon by Mrs Wren and the Major who drags his drip around with him well they can be the bitter kind if we can keep it in our mind that nothing’s gonna drag us down down down down Oliver I long for your smell Oliver I long for your smell let’s just hope we go together my love let’s just hope we know no other my love be self-assured with me we’ll let the others see that we’re together in the end my aged friend…
4. Mariella Well hey hey hey hey could strut around like it’s a minor thing until I hate myself again but I wanna sort her still I haven’t brought her a word either way I just say it’s the wrong wrong day gotta lay gotta lay gotta lay gotta lay I’ve gotta base myself again in a cotton corner with my head to the floor and take in the first pattern to grab my attention wanna stay wanna stay wanna stay wanna stay I wanna break myself away from this troubled mistress with her headstrong list of budding prey that she swallowed whole well hey hey hey hey well hey hey hey hey well hey hey hey hey well hey hey hey hey it’s not impressive and it’s not a game you made a thick rash promise and a rocky trade from such uncanny angles you have always handled the basest of actions that they hurl at your grace Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella you had to waste yourself again if only I if only I had tried to say something poster boys and rough-and-readies alike you were never too picky never put up a fight I always thought you too pretty with your dazzling eyes I always thought you too clever with your babbling mind but now you’re packing your belongings and you haven’t a clue how you made it so swiftly to the front of the queue and if you dare turn around and try to take me down too I will throttle you regardless of it all well hey hey hey hey Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella should’ve spaced your sickening friends and I can only hope that I was ever sober when I looked you up and down to say well it’s a long long way gotta lay gotta lay gotta lay gotta lay I’ve gotta pace myself again when it was almost over you had a four-leaf clover in the roots of your hair and you didn’t even notice send my word to the astronaut he’s the only one who’ll listen like he really ought and I’ve been wracking my brains were you never taught this well it’s too late now fuck you’ve already caught it got a concubine in my own backyard she has nestled in nicely well it wasn’t hard I’m a spectacular host and I can play the part of a man with money and a head well hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey poster boys and rough-and-readies alike you were never too picky never put up a fight I always thought you too pretty with your dazzling eyes I always thought you too clever with your babbling mind but now you’re packing your belongings and you haven’t a clue how you made it so swiftly to the front of the queue and if you dare turn around and try to take me down too I will throttle you regardless of it all well hey hey hey hey Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella Mariella if only I if only I well hey hey hey hey…
5. Old Marta Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la godmother don’t bother with this hideous bully now I’m muddledly writing letters saying I’m in arrears a cunning method to find you you’re harder much harder than I ever would have thought had I never been the walking dead so sorely poorly depraved a being bawling behind you I spent the hours counting sheep I spent the hours saying there’s no one left to meet I spent the hours saying there’s no one left to meet so come on over sha-la-la-la-la-la-la Old Marta not much smarter than a hedonist crowing like a rookie on a long weekend night after night on the tiles and now I’m starting to mind you sha-la-la-la-la-la-la sha-la-la-la-la-la-la I spent the hours drowning sheep I spent the hours saying there’s nowhere left to weep I spent the hours saying there’s nowhere left to weep upon my shoulder oh there’s nowhere left to weep upon my shoulder left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out on the pile he’s getting left out sha-la-la-la-la-la-la godmother don’t bother I’m an idiot stalking you while squawking in a rocking chair at lovers letting things lie lost lovers loth to malign you Old Marta so much smarter than I ever gave you credit for with letters burnt I’m sorry and all oh was I hoping to call or was I hoping to blind you oh I’m sorry and all was I hoping to call or was I hoping to blind you oh I’m sorry and all was I hoping to call or was I hoping to blind you sha-la-la-la-la-la-la…
6. Cyclothymia I’ll bet you know I’ll bet you know all the unwieldy dimensions to this crooked and cranky hole well on we go on we go we’ll march like ignorant soldiers to a goal we never chose so to the goal so to the goal when your two halves have collided you will recognise it’s just a wind-up until anon well I hope anon please leave me out of the foreground that’s nowhere I belong where I belong where I belong you could give me a list of pastimes to keep my mind off depressing songs and where it all went wrong though it never went wrong my two halves have collided it’s just a wind-up it’s just a wind-up blown into another frame don’t wanna play the game and I’ll look for the slightest change yet it’s all the same I’m in the zone I’m in the zone welcome to the spectacle it’s getting rarer as I grow old as I grow old as I grow old who put me here in the first place could anyone be so bold well I could be so bold I could be so bold but I won’t no I won’t ‘cause it’s just a wind-up flirt with my lighthearted take on how to top myself and this decay it was never an aim just a way of health…
7. A Weekend on the Bottle If I pretend that I’m one of a kind it’ll appear I’m not falling behind and I can never see what the matter might be but it’s always on your mind and you’ve got a look that I never took could every little thing be the prettiest fling or are you just another crook I’m tearing all the photographs that make me look unloved ‘cause you and I could never last just as long as I’m bloodied up and cold I’m happy there’s another side where you forever care and I know you don’t back down you’re good to go if I’m good to go but you could never win on an insidious whim so it may be that I should fold yeah it may be that I should fold a weekend on the bottle and I know I’m not all right but no one seems to notice it so I’ll just sit out the night and hope ‘cause you’re the only one I tell yet still I hold you off ‘cause I know you don’t back down I’ll drown the child I’ll drown the child in me to feel the same to feel the same and crack and crack well this could be the final straw but I don’t wanna pry ‘cause you look so much better now I guess you just didn’t have the time and so you’re with him on the other side but don’t you comfort me ‘cause I know you don’t back down a weekend on the bottle and I know I’m not all right but no one seems to notice me so I’ll just sit out the night and hope ‘cause I could swing a vicious swipe should it come to blows but oh please don’t back down oh please don’t back down oh please don’t back down…
8. Formal Warning Every time I turn to you you’re there and every time I whisper in despair but every time I try not to stare the radio keeps playing what I’ve done with every time I sort out the room comes every time I say I’ll follow through still every time I show it off to you it reads an ugly list of what’s to come what a day what a day what a day to care what a day what a day I saw you standing there what a day what a day what a day to share a winter’s evening in our clothes all riled up and juxtaposed I’ll have to hurt you now every time I stumble you grow and every time I pack it in you know for every time I dare to leave the home it’s just another battle with the sun what a day what a day what a day to care what a day what a day I saw you standing there what a day what a day what a day to share a winter’s morning on this rollercoaster forming as we go I’ll have to hurt you woah-oh-oh just one small victory will keep me near I’ll have to hurt you woah-oh-oh could anyone so troubled be endeared it’s so unclear what a day what a day what a day to care what a day what a day I saw you standing there what a day what a day what a day to share no formal warning ever knows how nothing fought leaves unopposed so untowardly I will show I’ll have to hurt you…
9. Boxing Hours Oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh o-o-oh Josie made my photo face the floor Josie put on my jacket and walked out the door I said I could put my feet up taking more than this so she paused a while then she settled the score well drown these people next to me it’ll help me to stand out well just about well just about and take me to a twenty-first century where you’re not splitting hairs I’m still around I’m still around I’m still around oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh o-o-oh an only child will always get what they crave an only child turned me into a slave a solitary moment gone and forgotten now but oh I made her proud well if you don’t know what to do with it then you don’t know what to do with it shelve it in my room I’ll keep it safe shelve it by my people having to wait and broken down in lipstick dreams from a peripheral place I’ll send my naked sound my naked sound my naked sound my naked sound well boxing hours of mistreating I'm sure to let them out when I’m a man when I’m a man and guide me round your misreading you can still let me down I’ll understand I’ll understand and the boss has taken note of me tearing down her company her company her company her company oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh o-o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh o-oh…
10. Chains, Straps & Rubber Tame softly spoken framed while heartbroken I’m safe in the grave I’ll be waiting chains straps and rubber pain cracked up covers behave be ashamed you trussed up hussy Low unfold the reasonable claim they’re not to blame the reasonable claim to be sane…
11. I Love You Because You’ll Do I’m heading home I hope to find you with a smile upon your face a warmth inside you with a bourbon-hardened taste for giddy pickings or at least some wry embrace but you turned to me and said god damn it all how can I touch you when your heart's the coldest place of my extension when your heart’s the coldest case of bad intentions that I ever did meddle with but we’ve history to trust come lay your head upon my lap I know you’ve had a trying day in bed with bottles packs of pills and a sigh that strayed into the realms of you huddled under covers shaking but we’ve history to trust Faust sold his soul Jack broke his crown I took pity on a lethargy manned by minnows like ashen snow we all fall down you took lightly my lugubrious role of widow and you turned to me and said god damn it all how can I touch you when your words are sharp and laced with hatred to the hilt when floored and carved you’ve space still to tower over foot to the back of my head as you grind me to the dirt woah-oh-oh I’m heading home I hope to find you in a puddle of your own disgrace a note beside you stating how you’ve gone and won this race but how I trembled when I met you in just that state so I turned to you and said god damn it all how can I touch you when you cannot even show your face when Mother Nature has you swallowed in her soiled embrace oh please promise that you’ll never do that again then you took to me and said come lay your head upon my lap I know you’ve had a trying day a shock attack upon your poise in a cry that strayed into the realms of you muddled by a stretcher quaking but we’ve history to trust and so we grow the wrong way round you staged calmly an almighty and a morbid riddle like ashen snow we all fall down I let slip you gave shelter as a weeping willow I let slip you gave shelter as a weeping willow.